I was talking with friends the other day and we were discussing the different things that we feel strongly about when it comes to family and raising children. Since I’m a several years behind my peers and just getting ready to start my child raising experience I thought I would document these things as a reminder to myself… And be warned, like most things in life I have strong opinions… and while I hope I don’t offend anyone this is my blog. J
I would love to hear what you feel strongly about (or what you disagree with J )
In no particular order: (and I don't know what's up with all the weird text and question marks everywhere... sorry.)
1. My children will have chores. They will know how to work. My sons will know how to cook and do dishes. My daughters will know how to mow the lawn. When it comes to chores I am not gender specific. I think it’s important that they know how to do those things. I want them to be well rounded. And if that includes a chore chart so be it :)
2. Sports/extra curricular activities will not come before church and family. I know this is a sticky situation... and I think it’s a really hard thing to balance. And I absolutely want my children to be involved in sports, extra curricular activities, etc.? But in my last nine years in working with Youth I've seen too many youth have to choose. They always have practice/games and they can't be involved in Church activities. I also know a lot of kids are so involved that they can't ever participate in family events... vacations, camping trips, etc. Nope. I don't know what the right answer is right now but I do know that we'll have to figure out a balance because I'm not willing to lose them their teenage years to just doing sports/activities... they'll be gone too soon as it is…
3. They will not have TV's and/or computer games in their room. There are several reasons for this rule... the main one being that we've been counseled to monitor what our children are doing and watching. I can't monitor them if it’s behind close doors. Thankfully my husband feels equally as strong about this... maybe even stronger.
4. We will garden and we will can (at least do our best) what we garden. This was a huge part of my childhood. And while I think that it's probably cheaper these days just to buy the items I think there's a valuable lesson and a huge satisfaction in seeing bottles of hard work sitting on a shelf.
5. Music lessons. For both. Again, I refuse to be gender specific when it comes to music... and besides I think it’s very attractive when a man can play the piano.
6. I want them to love the Lord and to have a solid testimony (of their own) in why we believe in what we do.
7. Ideally I would love to live on a chunk of land. With a cow or something. I don't see us being farmers but I think it would be a good experience for all of us to have a cow and goat, etc to be in charge of and have to be responsible for every day. I don't know if this will happen since we eventually we'd like to move back close to family and there's not a lot of land left in Utah. At least in the good parts. I know there's land left in some parts of Utah
... but I've been to those parts and they're not so desirable. So we'll have to see.
8. We will spend time together. Camping, road tripping, traveling, service, etc. I want to create life experiences for my children.
9. We will celebrate holidays. Valentine's, Easter, Flag Day, etc. ?And with that will be parties, cookies, sprinkles and construction paper hearts... much to my husband’s dismay we will celebrate all holidays. Not that he doesn't like holiday's... he just doesn't love them all like I do :)
10. We will read. More than we watch TV. We will read. My husband I are huge readers and this love will hopefully be passed down to our children. I would love for them to have a tree house to read in... or a special nook. Somewhere that is their own where they can curl up and get lost in a good book.
11. Naps on Sunday. Granted I can't force them to sleep. But they can lie on their bed and just be for a little while... Sunday naps are glorious and something that my husband and I practice religiously... besides I think everybody needs a little down time where they can just be and think... or sleep.
12. No sleepovers at others homes. I know, I know. It seems like I'm being overly strict. But we live in a scary scary world. I know too many stories... some even in my own extended family of bad things that have happened at sleepovers....and I don't mean ghost stories. I don’t know... this one will need to be tweaked until we find what works for us... ... I struggle with this one... we'll have to come up with a happy solution for everyone…I loved going to sleepovers... fun memories. And I'll totally support late nights... I'll come get you at 1am if that helps you feel like you're part of the party... But as of right now I'm a no on sleepovers. But your child is welcome to sleep over at my house. How is that for a double standard!
I know some of you are shaking your head saying "just wait"... and maybe you're mocking me... and I realize that every single one of these items might not come to be... but I also know me... and I'm stubborn... and when I believe in something enough I make it happen.
I have vowed that my children will know how to make a home. I think its becoming a lost art... and when we lose that then we lose a connection to family... we lose traditions and we lose those special little moments that can only happen in a home.
And last and but not least I want my children to have a magical childhood. I want there to be forts made out of blankets, lying in the grass at night looking at the stars, trips to visit cousins and playing in the rain. I want it to be an absolutely wonderful time in their life. And when they get older I want them to have a special place in their heart for home and the memories that were made there. And most of all I want them to know that they have a mama and daddy who love them and wanted them more than anything in the world.
What do you believe in???
